the first time

We have replaced the caravan we sold a couple of years ago, not with another caravan but a camper trailer instead. Our intention is to do a lot more weekend wanderings, shorter stints of walking and cycling. The camper trailer is simple and easy - for storage and access, for towing and set up. We took it to Lorne on the weekend to get some things figured out. It wasn't until after we set it up that we realised there was a video on YouTube (of course) that would have been more helpful than the simple instruction page we received. Fortunately the caravan park was mostly deserted so our trial and error approach went mostly un-noticed. We also took the time to set up part of the annexe, something we are unlikely to use very often.

the 'Skamper'

Colin christening 'the kitchen'

There is a lot less space than we are used to, a minimalist approach will be required (along with a bit of creative packing and organising). The main challenge we are yet to overcome is a comfortable bed. We opted for the innerspring mattress, an upgrade on the standard gym style mat that passed for bedding, but alas it is not what we were hoping it would be. We need a plan B.

We think the 'Skamper" will work well for us. The main thing missing, other than the bits and pieces that have been added to a 'to purchase list' was some warm weather. We will be waiting a while for that....

The Erskine River, a stones throw from the caravan park

access to part of the Lorne foreshore

Sunday morning

Erskine River meets Lorne Foreshore

Erskine Falls

sigh

Shopping with kids can be a challenge, even when they are 'adults'...

catching up

The days are coming and going and it feels like we are playing catch up. Today is the first day in a few weeks with some space. I do have a list of things 'to do' but the rain has put a bit of a spanner in the works and I'm waiting for the electrician and handyman to show up at some point. Think I'll abandon the 'to do' list for today. Every now and then I am reminded that you can only push so far before there are repercussions. I've skated close to the edge quite bit this last year and finding myself feeling teary for no apparent reason is a sure sign I've pushed too far.

It is a bit unfortunate that I don't feel I have been able to really enjoy the process of buying this place, moving in and setting up. When energy and emotional resources are limited 'getting to the end' is more than enough. It wasn't until I took some time to reflect and journal that I realised just what a challenging 12 months it has been. Sometimes I have blogged about things, sometimes I have alluded to things and often I have been silent about things because some of the most painful things are not my story to tell, nor would it be appropriate to do so on a blog. My list of 'things' reminds me to be realistic and patient with myself, it reminds me that this is real life and it reminds me that others' lists are longer and heavier than mine (not to minimise my own but to help put it in perspective).

And now, some things on a lighter and happier note - having all the kids around for Easter,

Easter Egg hunt (some kids never quite grow up #Heidi Duthie)

Making S'mores, the real deal, all the way from the U.S. Thanks Cass. Oh and we roasted chestnuts too, thanks Rach.

Checking out the pro surfing at Bells Beach

home

We are in and unpacked. Luckily the house was pretty much as I expected and as the photos showed. Colin was relieved! Apart from some wear and tear that Colin hadn't really noticed, we are very happy with the place. Although the courtyard is smallish it is one of the things I like the best, I hadn't realised how much I missed having a bit of garden. A very full few days and everything is pretty much done.

There is a list of jobs for a handyman, an electrician and a tree lopper. There is a list of jobs for us too, the kind that we can potter around with over the coming weeks and months. It feels kind of strange to have moved into a place where we plan to be for more than a year or two (hopefully a decade or two), where the contents are our own and where we can do as we please - quite liberating really. It was special to share the moment with Rachel, Zac and Jan who were around at various times to help out and we are very much looking forward to having everyone down at Easter.

When we dreamed of a house by the sea it was always with family in mind - the sharing of something special to us. We imagined a house with space and sun, a bit of garden to grow things and hang a hammock and have a BBQ. A house where you can walk to the beach and the park and the shops and cafes. A house that breathes peace and contentment and fills you with happiness. A house where our family and friends can gather. A house with good food and conversation around a big kitchen table. A house that bears witness to lives being lived to the full. It is the sharing of this house that will bring us the most joy...

Leaving; the Patrol came in very handy 

Arriving; the first time we have used removalists. Worth every cent!

A quick breakfast before they head off to work

Ahhh, the house to myself for a bit

I love this space, looking forward to pottering around. The first job will be to
remove the patch of pebbles and make another small garden bed.

boxes

Well we have finally set ourselves to the task of packing - the boxes are out and filling up. I am working to the mantra of 'one last time'. It feels a bit surreal to be honest, a weird kind of non anticipation. Maybe because I don't know what I'm going to. I'm packing up but I'm not imagining unpacking in a new place, at the moment it is a blank (apart from seeing some photos). Come to think of it, feeling weary is a big part of it too.

Anyway, in between the packing there have been other welcomed distractions.

Our next door neighbour jumped from a plane, her second experience of sky diving. I tagged along with my camera to capture something of the moment.

And at the opposite end of the spectrum I also tagged along with my camera to capture something of yoga at sunrise. Johanna was kind enough to tolerate and ignore my presence!

distractions

We haven't made much of a start with packing. Neither of us has much enthusiasm or energy for the task of moving, again. The joy and excitement of moving into our new place has been tempered with the weariness of a difficult twelve months. Instead we have found lots of things to help distract us, like....

Every second Friday morning I join some fellow gardeners at the Community Garden, we potter around tending the communal spaces and also our own individual plots. This time of the year there is usually plenty of produce up for grabs - the morning's bounty included tomatoes, pears, apples, figs, cucumbers and Jerusalem artichokes.

Colin has had his eye on a new board. The old one is pretty dinged up now and he wanted to replace it with a locally made one. He spent a bit of time (actually a lot) at the nearby surf shop and decided on a board made by the local owner. With the sale of the house complete he could afford to make his much awaited purchase.

christening the board at 13th Beach

Our neighbour, along with a few of her awesome mates, decided that swimming from Point Nepean to Point Lonsdale, across the rip and mouth of the bay would be a fun thing to do on a Sunday morning. Support and safety team in place, a few kilometres and a couple of hours later they achieved their goal. The spectators had an anxious moment as mid bay they negotiated a huge tanker heading out to sea. There were joyful celebrations on the beach and a well deserved breakfast at a local cafe to follow. (Colin's iPhone)

A Sunday afternoon walk and a low tide found us on the opposite side of the Barwon River. As we walked closer to the river's edge there was movement and alas a multitude of crabs. It was the stuff of my nightmares, literally. As a child I found myself in a similar predicament and became hysterical, the memory has not faded. I managed to restrain the screaming but stayed well clear of the little critters, the nausea a reminder of my childhood trauma. (Colin's iPhone)

sunday morning

If you are out and about as the sun greets a new day, a five minute walk from our front door, this is what you might see....

sold

Phew, glad to have that over and done with. We received a great offer a couple of days before the auction and were happy to accept. I don't recommend buying before you sell, it is a bit stressful, but it all worked out OK in the end. Now we can turn our attention to moving into our new place in a couple of weeks - another move, more packing and unpacking. This will definitely be it...

forgetful

We are trying not to think about the looming auction of our family home. A bit of distraction was in order, so a circuit walk in the Brisbane Ranges it was. We left early to avoid walking in the heat of the day. It was pleasant enough to begin with, lots of birds busy about their business. A sprinkle of rain overnight left everything sparkly, especially with the morning sun steaming through.

Unfortunately we managed to attract the attention of a very territorial bee. It insisted on harassing us for twenty minutes or so, just when we thought it was safe, back it would come. It is not that much fun walking and swinging your t-shirt around your head fending off an angry bee. I was doubly apprehensive having been stung by one just a few days earlier, the red, swollen and itchy bump on my arm a reminder of the damage they can do.

We must have finally walked out of its territory for it eventually left us alone. Our thoughts turned to morning tea now that we could be still without fear of an attack. It was with great sadness Colin realised that he had forgotten his thermos, his dream of a cup of tea was just that, a dream.

As midday approached and the heat increased and our legs grew weary we were on the home stretch. I reached for my trusty point and shoot and it wasn't in the bag. I asked Colin where he had put it when I gave it to him to hold a while back. He had sat it on a post at a picnic spot and left it behind, another kind of forgetting. It was a couple of kilometres behind us, the end point a kilometre in front. Colin dutifully volunteered to go back and get it while I continued to the end, and he was off in a rush before we thought it through. He didn't have water and we could have driven back to the picnic spot to get it, but he was gone. He added a 4km jog onto the 10km walk. Luckily he rose to the challenge and made short work of the extra kilometres.

Not exactly our best walking experience but a memorable one...

the end

This last weekend in Tassie heralded the end - the end of a myriad of things that need to be done when someone dies. The last few months have been filled with decisions and organising and forms and processes. In his last days my father said "when everything finish you get all family together and you go and have big steak, best steak, all together," so that is what we did. Yesterday we gathered all the family in Tasmania for a celebratory lunch. It has been three months since my father's death and last week would have been his 77th birthday. We watched snippets from old videos and saw his image and heard his voice once again, we shared memories and stories and laughed a lot.

And today I find myself back home and a weariness and sadness fills me. I wandered to the communal garden to water my tomato plants and pick the first of my ripened crop. The tomatoes are a link with my father. I will make pasta sauce with these, just like my father would have done...